Guffipedia
In her weekly Financial Times column and her annual Guff/Golden Flannel Awards, Lucy Kellaway has been prosecuting corporate crimes against the English language for two decades.
The Guffipedia houses the finest drivel from this archive - as well as fresh twaddle submitted by readers and certified by Lucy.
Translation into plain English Riots
“Citi has quantified the frequency of vox populi risk events, examining elections, mass demonstrations and other political events in the countries comprising the MSCI Developed Markets and Emerging Markets universes since the 2011 Arab Spring, and compared them to similar developments in the previous decade, in an effort to produce the first empirical research on this topic.”
Translation into plain English Thought control
"[Banks need] 'right-culturing' to ensure that the approach to attracting, developing and retaining talent is appropriate to an organization that has an increasingly diverse international footprint."
- Affordable portable lifestyle beverage»
- Align»
- Architect of change»
- Behaviours»
- Bilateral telephonic meeting»
- Bonus well»
- Broadly based platform of geographies»
- Chief manifesto catalyst»
- Chief pollinator»
- Clashroom»
- Clearer line of sight»
- Cognitive walkthrough»
- Corporate family»
- Curate»
- Data lake»
- De-grow»
- Deepen food to go leadership»
- Deliver»
- Deliver the best People Flow experience»
- Demise»
- Disestablish»
- Diverse hairdos»
- DNA»
- Doors»
- Drive»
- Entrance solution»
- Establish moments of truth for initiatives»
- Ethical»
- Executive brownout»
- Experience»
- Experiential creative hub»
- Fee experience»
- Flex-pon-sive»
- Foundry»
- Further enhance the customer experience»
- Game-change»
- Gap away»
- Global platform»
- Go and be successful somewhere else»
- Go-forward scenario»
- Going forward»
- Granular»
- Ground-truthing»
- Growing and winning (the Shell song)»
- Guff»
- Guffipedia»
- Hair-involved consumer»
- Hair management system»
- Host a convening»
- Human experience company»
- Iconicity»
- Ideation»
- Iterate»
- Knowlivators»
- Ladder off»
- Language it»
- Leadership above the rim»
- Let's drink to all the Russian gas (the Gazprom song)»
- Leverage»
- Life performance solutions»
- Liquid workforce»
- Loincloth strategy»
- Loving the client»
- Martin Lukes»
- Master expert»
- Mission»
- Move the planet a little closer to the future»
- Multi-dimensional communication scaffolds»
- Onboard more resource»
- Optics of your personal brand»
- Optimized footprint»
- Optionality»
- Oven-ready projects»
- People who love to stand on the shoulders of giants»
- Piece»
- Platform»
- Pledge allegiance to the promise of our brand»
- Pregnant with the deal»
- Procrealligence»
- Progress fees»
- Quantified self space»
- Raise the bar»
- Reading containers»
- Real-time chops»
- Reset expectations about the trajectory of one’s opportunity»
- Restacking your area»
- Right-culture»
- Robustify learnability»
- Skillset»
- Solutioneering»
- Spike out»
- Stakebroker»
- Step change»
- Stoked»
- Stretch one’s data bucket»
- Sunset»
- Sustainable mobility solution»
- Sweat the footprint»
- Sweet spot»
- Swim lanes»
- Talent»
- The employee life cycle»
- The Human Age»
- Thought-ware»
- Through the lens of humanity»
- To pulse»
- Tough choices»
- Unique»
- Unleash the power of Cummins»
- Up-skill»
- Up-weight innovation»
- Upgrade»
- Value leakage»
- Values-driven organisation»
- Visibility»
- Vox populi risk events»
- Wheelhouse»
- Worliday»