Last call can’t come soon enough on the Long Island Rail Road.
The Post watched yesterday as LIRR rummies engaged in their longstanding late-night tradition: boozing and belligerence on the commuter train from Penn Station.
Two soused men kicked off the festivities on the 4:14 a.m. train to Port Washington when they started talking trash to a neighboring gaggle of girls after a night out on the town.
The boozehounds then turned their attention to some men sitting nearby with slurred ethnic slurs. Then all hell broke loose.
“These guys were being a–holes to the girls,” said Dave. “When I called them out, they just started swinging.”
His friend, Matt, of Medford, got between his pal and the drunken goons, but couldn’t stop another hammered friend, Mark, from showering their assailants with a mouthful of water.
The outnumbered instigators wisely got off at the next stop.
“I defused the whole thing,” Mark said proudly.
It was a routine night on the rails: A conductor did a jig around a puddle of vomit in one car, while late-night drunks sprawled out in their seats, either passed out or close to it.
But come May 14, railroad officials are no longer letting the good times roll — banning the consumption of booze on trains between midnight and 5 a.m. on the weekends.
“If found with alcohol on the train, customers would, at first, receive a warning and the alcohol would be confiscated,” said MTA spokesman Sam Zambuto. If warnings aren’t heeded, arrests could follow.
The “pilot” prohibition comes on the heels of two assaults on LIRR conductors last month.
Fare disputes with drunken passengers are common and often lead to violence, said Zambuto.
Matt of Medford doesn’t think a ban is a bad idea — despite his sodden state early Saturday morning.
“It’s a good thing,” he slurred. “I think it should be pushed to an earlier time.”
His pal Anna disagreed.
“Everybody’s drunk by 10 anyway, so it makes no sense,” she said. “I don’t think it’s gonna do anything.”